Lu Diamond Flowers

 

Lu Diamond logo

People have enough shitty photo frames and can buy their own socks. What else does one need these days? The art of gift giving at Christmas time does not have to cost a kidney or be of any extravagant nature. And although being rich is cool and I wana be rich too, the smallest of personal gestures mean the most to the ones we love, weather it’s Santa’s birthday or not.
Now, don’t go baking cookies with your breast milk and it doesn’t mean you should knit a scarf out of your own pubes to put under the christmas tree, but why not put a smile on your favourite persons dial and give her/him a posy of beautiful flowers, personally chosen and crafted together to suit all needs by the talented Lu Diamond Flowers. Inexpensive, thoughtful and I have said it before, it will probably get you laid.
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS.
Love from Salmon Claws
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lu flowers

Does dancing make or break a relationship?

One of my favourite things to do is people watch, its a common interest among many people I know. All situations for people watching are entertaining, and the general public are extremely interesting, mega retarded, super weird and amazing to watch. One particular public situation I enjoy watching people in is clubs, bars, and any social event where dancing is involved. Watching people dance has had me doubled over laughing, made me pick up my jaw off the ground in amazement, cringed with every muscle in my body, and thus led me to write notes in my phone so I can write about them later….COOL STORY AYE.

And on that notes, note, in the notes section on my very smart iPhone, I write things down that I hear, see or think about so I can write about them on this boring blog of mine. I looked at the notes section the other day and was a little lol’d by my ‘ideas’. The shit I come up with…..seriously… I guess thats why I made a twitter account, so all the every day bullshit boring words, thoughts and slogans which aren’t worth a Facebook status update or a blog post about, can be pumped out when they pop into my dome. Like today for example, I did a twitter that said “Wearing baggy undies makes me feel skinny”. Fuck I am a genius.

But the rest of these little notes slipped through the cracks and have yet to be elaborated on, and probably never will be…Here is a wee list if ya like….

  • Suction cupping.
  • ‘Fomosapian’ (I think I made up a new word)
  • Bunyan as a last name. Gutted.
  • NAMIBIA – possibly the best word ever invented.
  • Tucking tee shirts in – its a crime.
  • If I eat my body weight in sushi, it doesn’t mean you can frown at me.
  • Seeing that hot dude who was just a mega doosh you went on a date with a few years ago out with his new Mrs who looks like dogs balls. Perfect.
  • Does dancing make or break a relationship?

Does it? I think it does. There is always the couple or group of friends you see out dancing together, and most of the time they have a similar style. The out of time awkward Dad dancers, the arm swilling bendy ravers, the indie side steppers, the got it all wrong and has no idea but is having the time of their lives dancers, the greasy Alanis Morrisette hair metal head bangers, the hippy Thai pant frankincense liquid movement dancer. And many more characters that I can never take my eyes off and must probably look like a weird bitch, staring at people all night long. I am no Michael Flatly, but I can certainly groove when occasion calls. Bad dancers are the spice of my life, but unfortunately if you are shit on the D-floor, ya won’t be doing any sweet moves in my bed any time soon.

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And thats it….another shitty blog post. I can’t guarantee you will get your 5 minutes back from reading this post, but just say the word ‘Namibia’ a couple times and tell me it doesn’t feel good in your mouth.

You’re welcome

SEE YA.