I did a recording of the Grammy awards on my home television so if you missed it here is a run down so you don’t have to watch it.
Paul McCartney looks like a ventriloquist doll, that one legged bird got out at the right time didn’t she. Robin Thick and his Dad on the keyboard are boring and need to go back to Michael Bubble’s house where Nicolas Cage is waiting for them naked. Taylor Swift, your soggy piano music does not, and I repeat, DOES NOT justify head banging and I wish you could see yourself gangster dancing up the front with your weird Mom to Imagine Dragons and Kendrick, I wouldn’t do that again if I was you. LORDE WON. I fast forwarded another super boring dude on a piano with great eyebrows. Ringo Starr did some fabulous rickety Dad dancing and probably should have quit while he was ahead, we could do without the ‘ill put out a new single just coz I can’. Cut to many surgeried up wives who I couldn’t tell if they were scared or enjoying themselves. Daft Punk couldn’t say thank you via their robot heads or accept the award with their slippery robot hands. Paul, you should have taken my advice for Ringo and his new single, we don’t need it mate. LORDE WON. Keith Urban needs a mans hair cut and to let go of his blonde streaked youth. Mark Anthony is dead inside. Julia Roberts is frozen. I have absolutely no idea what Ozzy Osbourne said into the microphone. Bruno Mars looked like Michael Jackson in the Thriller video (don’t mind it) LL Cool J is still hanging onto the cheese-cutter for dear life. Country music is weird and sucks but I like LED cactuses. Willie Nelson is the oldest living person on the planet and when he dies (probably never) his hair will be made into one thousand wigs.
The good bits in there don’t need mention but the shit bits came thick and fast and everything got boring so I went to bed. Maybe ill try again tomorrow night for good bits.
Also, I am at home on the couch stuffing my face and clearly not as important as all the important people mentioned.