November 9, 2017
Wears glasses for one day….
“Shit I actually need these. I should wear them more often”
*carries them around in handbag for another year*
Repeat yearly until you die.
Tag: delicious
Feeling thankful
March 22, 2017
The inspirational quote lovers bang on about being grateful for the simple things in life that many take for granted, but does that mean that I can just be grateful for cheese and the amount I am able to consume with no rejection or aftermath, no intolerance or allergy, that I can just take several moments out of my week to thank cheese for being one of the greatest things in existence, and forget about all the other cliche things people are thankful for, like a roof over your head and running water. As much as I love a scolding hot shower and a fluffy bed, I know in my heart of hearts that if I, for any reason was unable to eat cheese I would struggle to find real depth and meaning to my life.
My ability to consume a vast amount of cheese and the euphoria that is gifted to me from it should not be underestimated, therefore I would like to take this moment to be sincerely thankful for my body and to cheese for allowing me to live out my cheese dreams as I see fit.
Thank you,
Love from Katie Jones
x
I’m just over here like…..
October 14, 2016
Now that I’m 30 years old, 80% of my news feed is my friends getting engaged and married, having babies and buying houses…. I just spent 10 minutes talking to a shoe cobbler who was holding my boot that needed repairs praying that he wouldn’t see the stray pair of undies stuffed inside them. Low and behold he tipped the boot to look at the sole and said undies came tumbling out onto the floor.
We both stared at them in silence.
I’m thinking… “do I pick them up and acknowledge it or do I pick them up and pretend like it never happened?” He’s thinking… “is that what I think it is?”
I went for the grab, chuckle and carry on the conversation method and exited knowing that I will still be doing this at 40 while everyone else continues to adult better than I can.
Vegans, seriously. STFU
March 16, 2016
Me in cafe standing next to dog: “Your dog is super cute! Little wiry man! What breed is he?”
Dog owner: “He’s a whippet cross with a (I couldn’t hear the last part)”
Me: “I have never seen a poochie like him before!”
Dog owner: “These breeds are typically rat and rabbit hunters”
Me: “Ohh ok cool. Well that’s handy?!”
Dog owner: “I’m a vegan” *followed by death stare*
Me: “Ummmm” (thinks in my head….What the fuck has that got to do with the price of bread you weird weirdo. I’m talking about your dog. Oh, you’re a vegan so it’s in your blood to tell everyone you meet at any given opportunity!!!)
Collects coffee and leaves dreaming of bacon….
I dont wana know about your diet mate
February 12, 2014
As part of the building process of anything, including my construction of 2014, there has to be complaints and annoyances along with the happy fuzzy good shit. So my first complaint has actually been simmering since the last year I built, but I need to vent now then continue on my current project.
Why do vegans need to shout their veganess to the world? In their Instagram blurbs, Facebook profiles and real life interactions and everyday conversations. Snarky comments to those who aren’t and high fives to the ones who are fellow. Don’t tell me I am disgusting when I tuck into a bloody steak and thoroughly enjoy it, coz I am not going to ask how your bag of Kale chips is going sweetheart.
I, along with others, respect your decision to be on such a boring diet eating air and birdseed, but why make it a shade of your personality? I don’t shout from the rooftops and tell the world that I am a meat eater. A proud meat, egg, milk and cheese eater. An everything eater. That I would murder a fish fresh from the sea for my dinner, pries a shellfish from his home to slurp down my throat, pluck an egg hot from a chickens womb to crack into a sizzling pan etc etc. I haven’t gone as far as hunting down animals in the bush and slicing them up with my bare hands, I prefer my meat packaged up ready made from the grocery store but if worst come to worst I would most certainly chase and kill a pig for some sweet, sweet bacon to go with that goddam egg. Thus making me more adaptable in the wild where there ain’t no gluten free crackers and quinoa salads…
I don’t care if you are a precious little human with allergic this, rashey that, sore tummy here, don’t shit for days there. By all means make ethical choices, do what feels right for your body and be aware of certain harmful practices but dude, we aint here for long! Im going to eat thousands of sweaty meaty burgers, consume my body weight in cheese many times over, bathe myself in eggs and skull milk straight from the cows udder. Coz I don’t wana get to the end being all like “Yeah I was a dust eater for 80 years while 90% of the planet ate whatever they want. Fuck I wish I just ate hotdogs and meat pies”
Im Katie Jones, better living everyone.
thisiskatiejones 